


Just Can't Let Go

by thegreatficmaster



Series: Supernatural Collection [107]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Reader-Insert, Sad Dean Winchester, Toxic Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 03:04:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20268976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatficmaster/pseuds/thegreatficmaster
Summary: Dean knows he should leave, knows he should let Y/n go. But the love he has drags him back, no matter the hurt Y/n puts him through.





	Just Can't Let Go

Dean never understood the whole love/hate thing.

It never made sense to him.

Sure, he fought with Sam constantly. And there were times when he wanted to beat the crap out of John.

But he never once hated them. 

Or hated himself for loving them.

He just couldn’t understand how you could hate loving someone. 

It just sounded like a stupid concept to him.

But you…you made him realize just how painful love could be.

You made him hate to love you.

And there was no way he’d be escaping you. 

Because you practically owned Dean’s heart…even if you never treated it the way it should.

“Come on, y/n. I really need to see you”.

The hunt had been…draining.

Victims who looked so much like you were being targeted.

Even though Dean was in an entirely different state, he couldn’t stop imagining that he’d find your body the entire time.

The demon didn’t seem to know anything about you.

But Dean still needed to make sure you were ok. To make sure that the next time he stopped by, you’d still be alive and he wouldn’t find out that you’d been murdered.

“Please…I just…call me back. I lo-I miss you”.

He almost slipped up.

Almost.

Dean had never told anyone he loved them. 

Not really.

Maybe Sam. 

But no one romantically.

Yet, you practically owned his heart, despite the fact that you weren’t really serious.

There was a period of time where you were smitten by him, completely taken and willing to wait.

But Dean noticed the minute it changed.

Each time he left town, you’d be all that was on his mind.

But he knew there were always other people for you.

He couldn’t blame you.

You weren’t a couple. 

Not really.

But he just wished you were as loyal as he was, even if he did only see you maybe once a month.

When you kept sending him to voicemail, he decided he’d just show up.

What was the worst that could happen?

Dean had seen a lot of painful things in his life.

He’d seen Sam dead. John dead. Bobby dead. 

Practically everyone he loved, he’d seen dead or hurt.

So why was this hurting him just as bad?

You weren’t dead. You weren’t injured.

Hell, you looked overjoyed.

But when Dean saw you, as he waited outside your house, stumbling with a man attached to you and pulling him into the house, he swore he felt a stab through his heart.

He waited for a few seconds, before his own pain got the better of him, getting out of Baby to try and talk to you and hopefully drive the stranger away.

He knocked on your door, waiting as he heard your giggling, before the door swung open.

“Dean?”

Your eyes were wide, not expecting to see him any time soon.

“Hey. Sorry to just stop by. But I-uh-I just needed to see you”.

You nodded, not sure what to say or do.

Unfortunately, the man you were with decided now was the moment to come over and begin sucking on your neck, probably trying to get Dean jealous.

“Dude, just…go upstairs and wait there”.

He grumbled drunkenly, placing a sloppy kiss on your lips before he stumbled upstairs.

You wiped his saliva off your face, turning back to Dean and just staring for a few seconds.

“So…why are you here?”

He shifted on his feet, uncomfortable with the fact that there was another man in your home.

“Uh-I just needed to see you. I-I’ve missed you”.

You sighed, shutting your eyes and calming yourself.

“Is there anything urgent you need?”

He opened his mouth, intent on telling you how desperately he needed you, how he didn’t want anyone else touching you.

But then he remembered how you got the last time he did that, so he simply stayed silent.

“Ok…well, can you wait for an hour or so?”

He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat, nodding and walking out of the house without looking back.

He sat in the car for the next hour or so, eyes shut, knowing what you were doing up there, with that man.

Knowing that even though he’d shown up, you still decided to sleep with someone else.

He didn’t want to see the dishevelled appearance of the man when he left, so he waited until he heard the soft knock on his window, eyes opening to see you in just a robe.

“Uh…you can come in now”.

You ran back into the house, leaving Dean to wince at the smell of the man’s cologne when he stepped back in.

“The spare bed’s ready. If you need anything…”

Dean nodded, walking behind you and up the stairs.

You turned, contemplating for a few seconds, before you simply gave him a soft smile and walked back into the bedroom.

Dean did the same, just lying on the bed, thinking that he should be in your bed, you in his arms, both of you with each other.

But you weren’t.

He was here.

You were in the bedroom, where you’d just had another man with you.

He had no idea what happened between the two of you.

_At first, you were so attached._

_Dean even stayed in your town for almost a month, just for you._

_When he’d come back every now and then, you’d be overjoyed and spend the entire time together, in bed, walking around, anything that involved being together._

_Then it all changed._

_You started treating him coldly. _

_Started fighting each time he’d come over, just finding new things to argue about._

_You were the one who always started it._

_Dean had no idea what he’d done._

_He wracked his brain, trying to figure out if he somehow hurt you at some point._

_But nothing seemed to come to mind._

_So he spent the next few months coming back, seeing you, listening to your shouting, watching you flirt with other men._

_Everything you did broke his heart._

_But Dean was a prisoner to your love._

_He was devoted to you._

_Even if you pushed him away, even if you treated him badly, he knew he’d be lost without you._

_Every chance you’d given him to leave, he turned down, because he wasn’t willing to go._

_No matter how toxic everything got, no matter the pain you’d put him through, he just couldn’t imagine life without you._

_So he had to learn to hate to love you._

It hurt, the love he had being thrown away in favour of other men.

Instead of loving words to him, you threw insults and frustrations.

And he hated that he loved you.

He hated that the one person he’d given his heart to never returned the gesture.

But he knew he couldn’t let you go.

So he accepted it.

He accepted it, hoping that the day would come where you returned his feelings, returned the love he felt for you.

Forever didn’t happen overnight.

If he kept coming, kept showing you he cared, he just hoped that you’d let your guard down and let him into your heart.

He knew that probably wouldn’t happen.

You didn’t care about his feelings at all.

But he could always try.

Because it was you.

And no matter what you put him through, he’d always love you, even if he hated that fact.


End file.
